A Tribute to My Son

All the sonograms showed you were a girl. Sure. Little did they know. Michelle became Michael when you surprised us all. And you refused to be born until Manda could get there, 6 hours from another state… after she got off work.

You walked at 9 months and refused to talk until after you were 2 (and have made up for it since).

You climbed into the stackable dryer when you were 14 months old… to ‘read’ a book.

You showed up at my house one Feb 1 with the clothes on your back with your little sister. And you stayed forever.

You always tried to protect your little sister, even screaming down the middle of the road when she didn’t answer you and you thought she was missing.

You were always a fantastic athlete. It made no difference if it was your first season of soccer, where you got the best defensive player in the league, when every other child in the league was Latino and played from birth. Or baseball, where you had 10 minutes of instruction from Mark before you first played, but the coach said he was glad he’d had one experienced player on the team that really knew how to play. Or football, where there were 3 plays…they all included you having the football. Basketball was ‘get the ball to Michael’. And when it came to cross country, you usually came in first… even in the ‘big’ race. Well, except the time you stopped to help someone that fell, and you came in second. When you took your first riding lesson, you were told there would be 30 minute lessons for a few weeks, until you learned the basics and then they’d go to an hour. Well, that first lesson was an hour. And in just a few weeks, you were even riding bareback. (I miss taking you to the ranch!) No matter what you do, you can do it first, better, most, or sometimes even loudest!

I enjoyed the time you were homeschooled. Especially enjoyed were the times we worked at restaurants and our talking about history got those around us involved.. and you taught them! Where is the little guy that sat in restaurants, discussing Hitler or math, while homeschooling?

You started looking for a job when you were 14. And looked … and looked… And now you have 3…or is it 4?! Congratulations on being persistent!

You ARE just a bit opinionated. Was that sarcasm there? Ya! Sometimes you’re right. Sometimes you think you are. But at least you have an opinion and you care!

You never admit you were wrong…. EVER! But you don’t admit it with a smile. You can be as aggravating as anyone because you’re on your own time instead of on time and for leaving things laying where you’d left them when you’re going right by where they belong.

You stood over me for a month to see if I was still breathing in the middle of the night. Do you know how scary it is to wake to someone leaning over you in the dark? You put off living in your brand new apartment for a whole month so you could run your little brother to a friend’s near school so he wouldn’t miss any more and then went to work and came home to watch over me. And you bought a truck you probably couldn’t afford so you could do that.

You sat down in my bedroom, beside my hospital bed, with a notebook, and said, “Tell me what I have to know to take care of everything if you die.” And we spent the next few hours talking about housing, and bank accounts, and funerals and things no 19 year old should ever have to worry about. And we had tears running down our faces as we talked…and as I do now, remembering. I still have that notebook, in the same spot where you left it. You still will be taking your little brother to finish raising, if I go before he’s grown. (Just, please, make him eat right!)

You take care of everyone… even those that have used you…multiple times! And you have a heart of gold.

I can always count on you to help.

You’ve been through more already than anyone should have to go through in a lifetime. And you give $ even though you don’t have $$ to give.

That first birthday, at your new home with me, was a year no one will forget. I was baking a birthday cake…. Mama’s Mud Cake and the news came on about planes crashing into buildings. So, now, every year on 9/11 I think… This time xx number of years ago, I was baking Michael’s cake.

Now you’re in the Army, and working multiple side ‘hustles’. Yet you’re still caring for everyone else. And you still call your ‘Ma’ and ask questions. Ma, can you send me your green chili enchilada recipe? Ma, how much for .. In this weird year called 2020, we can’t visit and I can’t get your great hugs. But I still know that you’re there for us.

From a little guy with tiny feet to grown up and size 14s. You’ve come a long way! Twenty-four years ago today, I would never had guessed I would be celebrating your birthday as my son. I’m glad I am!

Thank you for all you’ve done! Happy 24th birthday, Michael!

Why My Son Won’t Be Going Into a Classroom this Year!

My son is 12 and going into 7th grade … at home. Here’s why…our true life experience. We had to be at aschool by 12 to do a no contact Chromebook pickup. We had to wait there for 45 minutes. (That’s another story.) We watched ADULTS try to stand in line with masks, six feet apart. Here’s what we discovered.

1)They never stayed 6 feet apart.
2) When they got to the door, several leaned in, face tp face, with the person holding the door ‘to hear better’.
3) Over 1/3 didn’t have masks
4) Of those with asks, some were on their chin or in their hand.
5) Those with masks on correctly were taking them off to get a drink…and left them off to swallow.
6) They picked up Chromebooks that were passed from hand to hand after being breathed on and hugged them to their chests.
7) After using both hands to hug them to their chests, they took off their masks.

And this was adults for only 45 minutes. Now think of kids being asked to behave for hours, day after day.

It won’t work. Dont even try.

What AM I going to do? We did that no contact Chromebook pickup. He’ll attend class via a platform like Skype or Zoom. He’ll interact with his friends. He’ll be able to spend the day without a mask and stay healthy. He can drink without fear and have lunch at the table. He can go out back at ‘recess’ and shoot hoops or talk with his friends on Skype or Xbox. He can stay educated and healthy.

I asked him if he would rather attend with his friends. He said, “NO!”. ‘I don’t want to sit in one chair all day and not touch anything with a mask on when it’s…insert…today it’s 115…degrees. I don’t want to worry about getting sick.’

I asked if he would miss interacting with teachers. Well, he’s done online school for a semester. Not what we had last spring, but actual online school. He said that he got to interact with his teacher. She called upon him when he raised his computer hand. And he liked being in his pj’s most days. (Saved on my laundry!)

I can see no reason not to school remotely. I can see EVERY reason for not going into a classroom this year.